I want to make a zoo with you.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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