haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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