Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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