you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
