I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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