I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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