I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
