at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
