Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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