Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
