If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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