The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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