I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
