My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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