I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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