i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
