I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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