Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
did i walk over a car last night?
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I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
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I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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