Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
