You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
you never un-have a 4some
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
