I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
