9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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