is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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