The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
