They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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