It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
