White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
