I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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