I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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