it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
