i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
