I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
