The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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