You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
