I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I need to sanitize my soul.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
