I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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