the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
