Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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