let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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