Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
