Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
