We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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