Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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