If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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