I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
