He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
