Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
