Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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