Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
