She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
