she looked like the bat from fern gully.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
