Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
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I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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