At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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