mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT