i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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